Chapter 1/7
Sor walked into the trees in front of the sunset. She remarked that she walked into sunsets a lot. It was fitting. Well most of the time. Because most of the time she didn’t intend to return. But this time she did. Why is it that when she’s ready to go ahead and kill herself someone has to be -nice- to her. People being nice to her seemed to be at the root of all her problems. Deep down, she -wanted- people to look down on her. To spit on her. She wanted to disgrace herself.
She stopped and leaned against a tree. She didn’t want to be forgiven. What had she done today? Taught someone to drink. She only knew awful things. dirty things. She had begun to care for that girl, yet with that caring she realized she didn’t want her to reciprocate at all. A relationship with soru could only serve to corrupt someone. She was sick of corruption people. Sure it would just start with alcohol but then...
...then...
She -Hated- herself for what she was thinking.
-No!-
She didn’t deserve forgiveness! she didn’t -want- these thoughts! Really she was better off drifting. She had stayed too long here. Too long. She began to walk along the path, slowly drifting along the path, she began invoking the latent ability she had once been so skilled at and began drifting along through dimensions. She felt her way along the way a blind man walks along a path. She remembered how once she had been able to force the folds of reality to shatter around her through sheer force and fury. Those days had passed. No, this was more like... she was stroking the folds of reality, and slowly moving herself along it, letting it pull her. She closed her eyes to make the process easier. She remembered that it was rather sickening the way her surroundings would seem to warp and melt and change.
There.
That was it. She remembered the feel of this one... it had a particular smell to it. She released the fabric of the universe, and felt everything snap into place. Yes she had enjoyed her time here. She would savor that smell for awhile before she traveled to the next place.. She opened her eyes. Hmm this place was very similar. She was still walking on a forest path. The trees had changed though.. They were taller, and the bark was different. Eucalyptus. That was what it was called. She found solace in her footsteps and the quiet smells around her.
Step. Step. Step.
Left. Right. Left.
A twig snaps.
An acorn is kicked.
An owl hoots. She hoots back halfheartedly. The owl hoots twice in reply. Suddenly she barks loudly like a dog. The owl hoots loudly in alarm. Sor giggles slightly. Really, she was happier alone. She would become a traveling hermit she decided. She nodded to herself. Well... she was already.. technically... but.. She’d buy a fake beard! Then she could scare little children!
As she was thinking this, she remembered the woman she had left behind. She glared at nothing. Did she -have- to think of her now?? She was perfectly fine the way she was. The face didn’t leave her mind. Damn her mind. She wanted to drive a hot nail into her mind. And burn out the thoughts! She cared for someone already. Two people! HA! She hadn’t been too happy to hear that, but it was best this way. She didn’t want foolish hopes. Foolish hopes lead to painful reality. The type of pain that couldn’t bring pleasure-
She found herself walking through a small town How long had she been walking? She couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter she supposed. She realized she had no idea how to get where she was going... She weighed her dignity against her need of directions.
Dignity always lost.
She smiled that cruel smile. Always.
She felt a sudden rush of wooziness strike her. Money too. She needed money. Money buys food. She couldn’t make a rescue/kidnapping on an empty stomach..
And so because dignity always lost, and it does, she walked into a local weapon shop and set a dagger down on a glass counter, rather roughly. The fat man behind eyed it for a moment. Then eyed Sor. Her dingy clothing. The rings under her eyes.
“Need more rum?â€
