Shades of the Moon in your Eyes

[Mystic13]

I once was open
and one with a traveling heart
I loved this sweet guy
Just like the fiction
rushing in your riverbed
arise like applause in my head

And in the half light
where we both stand
this is the half light
see me as I am

Just like the ocean
always in love with the moon
it's overfloing now inside you
We fly right over
the minds of so many in pain
We are the smell of blood
that brings the rain

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The sky tonight was crystal clear. No fog to shroud the stars or impede the passage of moonlight. Standing alone outside the now-familiar shape of Jarod's country mansion, Rashona slipped a hand into the pocket of her cloak, fingering the smooth black ring which had recently been placed there. The cool stone warmed slightly beneath her touch as she slid the tip of her index finger along the faint engraving inside.

I am always with you

The words turned themselves over and over again in her mind, whispering of memories she should not be privy to. Somehow she found them distracting, these pieces of someone else's life. Letting her breath out in a quiet sigh, the slight chill in the air caused a tendril of steam to curl forth from her lips. A single light shone from one of the second story windows, indicating that Jarod was still awake, and for a moment Rashona wondered if it would be better to simply come back another time, but she found her feet taking her up the stone porch steps, and her hand inserting a key into the delicately etched door handle. The lock clicked, and she carefully pushed her way inside.

It was a familiar path to Jarod's bedroom. She'd tread it many times since their battle in the forest. In spite of this, she felt like a stranger tonight; an intruder into a life she could not rightly claim to be a part of. Catlike steps took her silently to her distination, and once there she hesitated a moment, a single shaft of light falling across her features from the slight crack in the doorway, causing one of her pupils to shrink back. Putting out a hand, she pushed open the bedroom door and took a step inside at the same instant that Jarod came walking in from the adjacent washroom.

It was difficult to tell if she had startled him or he had startled her, but the two bastet halted all movement for a few moments as their gazes met and held, then Jarod slowly lowered the hand which had been drying his hair with a soft towel. The skin of his chest held a slight pink flush from recent bathing, and the delicate scent of spiced rose petals greeted Rashona's senses.

"Come to check up on me?" Jarod broke the silence.

"Depends. Should I?" Rashona sounded a great deal more relaxed than she felt as she shut the door behind her and slid the cloak from her shoulders, draping it casually over the back of a chair.

It was a question that didn't really need an answer. Tossing the damp towel into a basket nearby, Jarod gestured towards the large, grisly pink scar below his right shoulder, indicating resigned permission for her to inspect it. Rashona moved forward, stopping in front of him. The two of them were the same height, which made it difficult sometimes for her to avoid his unnervingly beautiful eyes, so she was glad for the excuse to look elsewhere. The wound on his chest admittedly had an unpleasant look, but it was promising that it had already begun to scar over. Even for a shifter, Jarod healed quickly. Walking around to see the back of the wound, there the klaive had pierced through him, Rashona found her eyes wandering towards the exotic symbol on the back of Jarod's neck. It's elegant design had always intrigued her, and without thinking she put out her hand to touch the warm skin where it lay imprinted upon.

"What does this tattoo mean?"

"Hai," Jarod said quietly. "Ocean."

His father's family name. Rashona couldn't help but smile softly, though her eyes were sad. "It is... fitting."

"And why is that?" Jarod turned around slowly to face her, his gaze soft and contemplative.

For a few heartbeats Rashona was silent, realizing too late that she'd wandered into dangerous waters, and too that Jarod was very close to her, and that his scent and his warmth made her feel greatly unhinged. This was not the way it ought to have been. Raising her gaze to meet his, a great wave of guilt suddenly came over her, threatening to break her composure.

Because I could drown in you.

Out loud, she said, "I think I should go."

***

"So soon?" Jarod smiled a little. "We haven't even argued yet."

"We do not always argue," Rashona snapped quietly.

She'd taken his bait before she could stop herself, and the sudden glint of irritation in her pale blue eyes gave Jarod some small satisfaction. There was something off-kilter about tonight's interaction, though. His would-be nurse was not her usual self. She seemed, in fact... quite distracted.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly.

"No..." she responded with more honesty than he was expecting. "Seline's breath, Jarod, you are so beautiful... I can hardly stand to be near you."

Her voice dripped with barely checked anger, though whether it was directed at him or at herself, Jarod could not quite discern. Then, before he could really decide upon a suitable reaction, she closed the gap between them and ensnared his lips in a violent kiss. Too violent, and too sudden, to invoke in him a favorable reaction. Confused, he pulled back, putting out a hand to push her away as they both took in their breath quickly.

"I'm sorry," she said, more gently. Her eyes were wide now, filled with a piercing intensity of emotion. Taking another step forward, Rashona leaned in again, more carefully, and placed a kiss just below the corner of his jaw. Trailing her lips up to his ear, she whispered delicately, "I wish... I could forget."

Forget what? Pain. Regret. Everything. It didn't matter. He understood. It made it easy to let her kisses wash over him. To let her hands wander over his skin. Forgetting is an act one becomes familiar with.


***


It was late. So late it was nearly early. The lamps had long-since burned down, and now moonlight shone through a nearby window, bathing Jarod's elegantly sleeping form in cool, silver light. Rashona sat beside him, watching the gentle rise and fall of his rib-cage as he breathed. There was something so perfect about this moment... she felt perhaps she did not belong in it. Certainly that she did not deserve it. Or him.

Silently, she slipped out of bed and back into her clothes. Picking up her cloak, she reached into its pocket and pulled out Jarod's ring. She'd spent hours searching for it, and now a part of her wanted to run outside and throw it into the lake. Still, somehow she could not bring herself to do such a thing. Stepping back over to the bed, she leaned down and placed the ring carefully on the empty pillow. Strange that she would be the bearer of this symbol of lost love, but then life was strange, sometimes, and it made no sense to be jealous of ghost.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered. "Please forgive me." Tears welled in her eyes, though she tried desperately to keep her emotions under control. It hurt to look at him. Hurt to smell him still on her skin. Leaning close, she moved as if to place a kiss on his forehead, but she could not bring herself to touch him.

Turning away, Rashona fled Jarod's bedroom, then his house... then the forest. Back to the mountains she had once called home, where everything was clear and simple and her only company would be that of the snow and the wind and the moon.

***

Alone in the room, Jarod opened is eyes and gazed at the empty space next to him. Reaching over, he tentatively took hold of the ring, watching the way the black stone shimmered. He curled his fingers around its familiar weight, then slowly brought it in to his chest and pressed it against his heart.

Gradually, the moonlight began to fade.

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In the half light
where we both stand
in the half light
you saw me as I am

I am the railroad track abandoned
with the sunset forgetting
that I ever happened

...that I ever happened.