And What a Fine Table It Is!
Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:06 am
It was increasingly rare for Glenn Burnie to make housecalls, but here he was, in the humble, though surprisingly spacious, house of the Brothers Jacob, stalwart Constables both. The house was beyond their means, but then that was well and good. Neither was married or had children to feed and their father had left them a good deal of money (and in fact the house). Old Clyde Jacobs had been a shady but successful man about town. Upon his deathbed he had bequeathed his ill gotten gains to his wastrel sons only on the condition that they make up for his life as a ne'er-do-well by becoming Constables. They, of course, leapt at the offer, and have had particularly unimpressive careers of public service ever since, highlighted very recently by Burnie catching them in a rather nasty gambling scandal. This forced them quite soundly under his thumb and led to this particular visit.
Movers had been through earlier in the day setting up one room out the house's six and it was in that room that Burnie and the brothers now sat. In the center sat a fine wooden table, lacquered and stained, shining and sturdy. It had four artfully crafted legs, each with a different mythical (or at least mythical in most other places) beast at the bottom. One was a dragon, one a centaur, one a griffin, and one a hippopotamus. The chairs were just as sturdy though more functional than anything else. In the middle of the table was a potted plant, catnip, the only real decoration to the room past the furniture itself. Burnie sat in one chair. Across from him, seated as well, was Jacobs Elder with his squat, fireplug form and brown handlebar mustache. Leaning against the far wall was Jacobs Younger with his red hair and redder, well-groomed, beard. There were only two chairs and he was at the bottom of this totem pole when it came to power and seniority.
There was also a long, sturdy bed that straddled the entirety of one wall. Between those two objects there wasn't much room for anything else: just a dresser, already full of some well-made but quite inexpensive clothing, and one of the less vile chamberpots in Myrken (in that it was relatively new). That left a comfortable amount of walking space between one object and the next, though things would have been tight were there another chair.
Jacobs Younger scratched at his beard. "You've been over this twice, and I still don't get it. Why us. Big brother over there is a lout and I'm a knave. This crazy Catch bloke would be better off with a nice caring happy family, one that wanted a pet. Anyone but us. Anywhere but here."
Burnie smiled his endlessly pleasant smile, the very definition of patience. "Again, and I do hope this is the last time, the two of you possess a few highly worthwhile traits, making you perfectly suitable for this particular duty. For starters, I know I can count on you not to betray me in this task. It'll be your careers (and of course your inheritance) if you do. The government could always use that money were you to lose it. There's always so much to rebuild." Myrken's Judiciary Investigator had begun to speak business and once that happened, there was generally no stopping him. "Two, as a lout and a knave, there is little worry that you'll will get overly attached. Catch, despite our hopes that he grow into the very finest member of our populace, is a threat to everyone, most especially himself, and he needs to be treated with a firm hand, but never a cruel one, understand?"
"We understand well enough." The elder Jacobs answered with a grumble and a twist of his mustache, superseding whatever inflammatory comment his younger brother might have had upon his lips. "Go on," because everyone knew Burnie wanted to.
"Excellent." There was barely a moment's hesitation before he continued. "Three, while Catch will be allowed to come and go, he is a power and thus a potential target. Just as the people of Myrken will be safer with him under watch, he will be safer under your roof than he would be with more sympathetic ...roommates."
Burnie rose, looking from one brother to the other. "Frequent reports then. I'll be speaking to him as well, so if you mistreat him, I'll well know it. He's terrible at holding his tongue, even at promise of reward or threat of punishment. You may defend yourself, but again, trust me, I will know the difference." The once-mapmaker was walking towards the door now, not looking at either man. "And heed my words: you should have a healthy amount of fear for him as well as me. He is a kind and gentle soul most of the time and you should find your days with him living here odd but pleasant, but if you do him ill, he very likely has the power to destroy you where you stand."
An uncomfortable silence swept over the modest room. When Burnie spoke again, it was with a pleasant but dismissive tone. "Do well with this and you'll be rewarded. Records struck clean. Your late father's funds granted to you without any of those pesky conditions. Fail and .. well, don't. Just don't." One last look back to them and to the room as he reached the door. "Well then, he'll be around later. Best of luck. Mind how you go and all that." With a nod, Burnie was out the door.
Movers had been through earlier in the day setting up one room out the house's six and it was in that room that Burnie and the brothers now sat. In the center sat a fine wooden table, lacquered and stained, shining and sturdy. It had four artfully crafted legs, each with a different mythical (or at least mythical in most other places) beast at the bottom. One was a dragon, one a centaur, one a griffin, and one a hippopotamus. The chairs were just as sturdy though more functional than anything else. In the middle of the table was a potted plant, catnip, the only real decoration to the room past the furniture itself. Burnie sat in one chair. Across from him, seated as well, was Jacobs Elder with his squat, fireplug form and brown handlebar mustache. Leaning against the far wall was Jacobs Younger with his red hair and redder, well-groomed, beard. There were only two chairs and he was at the bottom of this totem pole when it came to power and seniority.
There was also a long, sturdy bed that straddled the entirety of one wall. Between those two objects there wasn't much room for anything else: just a dresser, already full of some well-made but quite inexpensive clothing, and one of the less vile chamberpots in Myrken (in that it was relatively new). That left a comfortable amount of walking space between one object and the next, though things would have been tight were there another chair.
Jacobs Younger scratched at his beard. "You've been over this twice, and I still don't get it. Why us. Big brother over there is a lout and I'm a knave. This crazy Catch bloke would be better off with a nice caring happy family, one that wanted a pet. Anyone but us. Anywhere but here."
Burnie smiled his endlessly pleasant smile, the very definition of patience. "Again, and I do hope this is the last time, the two of you possess a few highly worthwhile traits, making you perfectly suitable for this particular duty. For starters, I know I can count on you not to betray me in this task. It'll be your careers (and of course your inheritance) if you do. The government could always use that money were you to lose it. There's always so much to rebuild." Myrken's Judiciary Investigator had begun to speak business and once that happened, there was generally no stopping him. "Two, as a lout and a knave, there is little worry that you'll will get overly attached. Catch, despite our hopes that he grow into the very finest member of our populace, is a threat to everyone, most especially himself, and he needs to be treated with a firm hand, but never a cruel one, understand?"
"We understand well enough." The elder Jacobs answered with a grumble and a twist of his mustache, superseding whatever inflammatory comment his younger brother might have had upon his lips. "Go on," because everyone knew Burnie wanted to.
"Excellent." There was barely a moment's hesitation before he continued. "Three, while Catch will be allowed to come and go, he is a power and thus a potential target. Just as the people of Myrken will be safer with him under watch, he will be safer under your roof than he would be with more sympathetic ...roommates."
Burnie rose, looking from one brother to the other. "Frequent reports then. I'll be speaking to him as well, so if you mistreat him, I'll well know it. He's terrible at holding his tongue, even at promise of reward or threat of punishment. You may defend yourself, but again, trust me, I will know the difference." The once-mapmaker was walking towards the door now, not looking at either man. "And heed my words: you should have a healthy amount of fear for him as well as me. He is a kind and gentle soul most of the time and you should find your days with him living here odd but pleasant, but if you do him ill, he very likely has the power to destroy you where you stand."
An uncomfortable silence swept over the modest room. When Burnie spoke again, it was with a pleasant but dismissive tone. "Do well with this and you'll be rewarded. Records struck clean. Your late father's funds granted to you without any of those pesky conditions. Fail and .. well, don't. Just don't." One last look back to them and to the room as he reached the door. "Well then, he'll be around later. Best of luck. Mind how you go and all that." With a nod, Burnie was out the door.