Grammar Grumbles

[Glenn]

Gloria,

first you need to know that i talked to whelp and everyth noora whose name should be susie be cause that fits her more and i and it knows what is what now and you did not need to worry like i told you that i didn't need to worry but i got a little confused in a letter and you need to re mind me when we are supposed to use right and when we are supposed to use right and when we are supposed to use rite or any thing else be cause the old witch will not answer my scating skazing skathing letter to her un less I get that right/write/right

Elliot

[Rance]

It was a letter that was too aware for its own sake; its writer, after all, had skulked not far from the conversation it referenced.

to elliot brown who does not give up,

I start first with the lesson because it is best to learn first, I do not mean it to be arrogent or overbearing but it is not often I know a thing some others do not, so without further adoor

WRITE is for when you put coal to parchment

RITE is what magickers use to perform their work or what religeons make you adhear to

RIGHT can be the opposate of left

RIGHT can also be the opposate of wrong

RIGHT is what you did with noora noura and i am proud of you

Do not worrey it took me forever to know the GH part our JERNOTOWN words are a lot more difficult and make a lot less sense but that makes Standard words make almost none, but also yesterday I did not say the RIGHT things to you, I trust you a lot, sometimes it is easier just saying it in a letter and not with words because I am not the britest

Also SUZIE is like SOET'SE which is also [a word in a scrawling hand that used no Common letters] but is also pasterdised to look like SOODSY which is my little dall that Catch got me, just like GLORIA is GLOUR'EYA is [another word in the same foreign script] but anyway

Noura is not happey with me she thought I did her wrong that night but I wanted to keep you safe and Nova was hurt and Nova means a lot to you so i helped, alright, and Noura can take care of herself, but she says her name is Whelp now, I guest I messed it up, but i do not give up on my friends if they do not give up on me

i am proud of you, et-chem-so

i like it when you write me letters it makes me feel like I belong here

your friend
gloria

[Glenn]

Gloria

i knew that about the right and write and rite and i was just testing you and you passed so well done and your horribble im possible to make weapon will be done soon so you can trip and accidentily get it stuck in your leg

elliot

[Rance]

If a letter could laugh, hers would bellow -- she scrawled most of it with a smile.

elliot brown,

next time i am just going to push a letter under my door and you will push it back, alright, because obvou obvliou obviasly you must be writeing me from right outside because your rasponse was so quick the bartinder had it right away

i am not going to misuse it, I am going to get good training to know how to not get kissed again

why are you telling me i am horrible, I am no such thing

your friend
gloria

[Glenn]

Gloria

i am like the masked phantom of myrken and i am every where and every thing and have ears and eyes and noses every where and spooky hands and i know when you sent a letter and you are not horrible and the jerno glass knife made to stab you accidentily in the leg is horrible and you should walk around with a knife in your mouth so no one will kiss you instead.

elliot

[Rance]

elliot,

no you cannot have noses everywear because then you will know what ladies do in the privassy of their rooms like that great big fart that Sun did overpowert perfume those poffs at the dressshop wear, did you know the seams there are so badly done, I could do them so much better

also it may be horrible but i need it, sometimes punching a thing or two will not make a problem go away and i know that using a blade on it won't either but twice it has happened, twice, and it will not happen a third time

but my mouth is big, alright, but a knife cannot fit in there, also if you are down there can you bring me a tea and a broth and some of that DUCK that would be splendid, it is like elliot the buttler in this case, maybe you will feed me grapes in my room as well

your friend
councilor fatbottom

[Glenn]

gloria

i am going to help a very pious rich person take a vow of chasti poverty so good night

elliot

[Rance]

elliot brown,

may you get this letter before you depart and maybe you will get awrested, if so I sew a thousand bags to get you out from behind the bars but that will take me fifty days and fifty nights to sew so if you do not want my insessent bellyaching then be swift and WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T TELL CHERNY ABOUT IT you know I love my brother with a very dear heart but you two are like blood and water or oil and water and just do not mix well

also, if you get awrested this letter will encrimonate me so you had best burn it, I will sign it secretly in case that big hole of a brain you have got forgets to do so

sincerely,
gw

She scratched out her initials. In the interest of subterfuge, she wrote:

sincerely,
SCARLET GLASS