The Feet Follow the Heart.
Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:34 am
I could have stayed safely tucked away in Glenmoor forever, raising my child within the sleepy down of my birth. Strangely, I find myself drawn back to Myrken. Had I been gone so long that the place where I had grown now feels foreign and strange to me? It had taken so long for me to admit it but it is no longer home but a fondly warm memory that I am able to visit now and again to draw upon the silent strength there as it is needed. To visit but never to stay.
How long has it been since I have traveled down this road? Months, I've lost count of how many.
The warmth of Brennah's small body is a comfort, the curl of those so-perfect little fingers clutching a fold of my garment beneath the blue wool of my cloak even as she sleeps, the way she smells. Oh how she smells! I could breath in her baby scents forever and a day and never grow tired of them.
At my side a huge bulk of body shifts, pulling my attention up to the man handling the reins of the horses pulling the wagon that has been my vehicle home. Daniel. Danny boy. If it had not been for my brother I likely would not have gathered up the courage to return to this place where my heart has been broken yet again. He looks like a mountain man with that growth of beard black as pitch. Had that been there when I first left home? It so becomes him that I can not remember if he has ever been without it. The creeping smile at this sight can not be helped before diverting my gaze back to the child not yet even a year in age. For now her own cinnamon lashes are closed, hiding the color of her father's gaze.
With luck, this is all that he has given to her.
Oh how I would love to stretch my legs for a moment, they ache from sitting so long and my own stomach is beginning to complain of hungry. For the past hour I am certain that I have been able to hear both Daniel's and D'ran's stomachs call out their want back and forth to each other to hunt out some form of a meal.
The wagon lurches having found a rut in the dirt road and behind I can hear the grunt of breath from D'ran who sits in the bed of the wagon along with the luggage. Darling man who was willing to make this journey with me so that I might not be a woman alone upon the road all the way to Glenmoor. Bless his soul. I would have done it on my own too, had he not come with. It is that stubborn streak I can (sometimes) admit to, a blessing and curse all at once. It is that very quality that sees me returning to Myrken despite what disapproving faces might be there to greet my arrival.
Damn them all.
I will not waste one bloody thought on worry about what others think of me. I am a business woman. I own land when so many women do not and I, unlike many of my gender, shall have no man to obey. Not ever again. All decisions shall be my own and this, all of this, shall one day be my daughter's.
I can only imagine the savage look upon my face that this thought has likely brought, determined steel to my spine as I so gently touch at one soft, baby-plump cheek with a stroke of a finger. From here on out, every step taken shall be for her. Every breath. Every beat of my heart. For Brennah and no other. My drop of water in the desert. Do you understand how well named you are, Brennah O'Neill? The very meaning of your name?
The last of the sun is dipping, light slowly giving to dark. Oh there. There in the distance! Do you see them my darling? Those lights, right there.
"Brennah. We're home."
Daniel answers me with merely a grunt but I can hear the smile behind his beard with that small sound.
"Home."
How long has it been since I have traveled down this road? Months, I've lost count of how many.
The warmth of Brennah's small body is a comfort, the curl of those so-perfect little fingers clutching a fold of my garment beneath the blue wool of my cloak even as she sleeps, the way she smells. Oh how she smells! I could breath in her baby scents forever and a day and never grow tired of them.
At my side a huge bulk of body shifts, pulling my attention up to the man handling the reins of the horses pulling the wagon that has been my vehicle home. Daniel. Danny boy. If it had not been for my brother I likely would not have gathered up the courage to return to this place where my heart has been broken yet again. He looks like a mountain man with that growth of beard black as pitch. Had that been there when I first left home? It so becomes him that I can not remember if he has ever been without it. The creeping smile at this sight can not be helped before diverting my gaze back to the child not yet even a year in age. For now her own cinnamon lashes are closed, hiding the color of her father's gaze.
With luck, this is all that he has given to her.
Oh how I would love to stretch my legs for a moment, they ache from sitting so long and my own stomach is beginning to complain of hungry. For the past hour I am certain that I have been able to hear both Daniel's and D'ran's stomachs call out their want back and forth to each other to hunt out some form of a meal.
The wagon lurches having found a rut in the dirt road and behind I can hear the grunt of breath from D'ran who sits in the bed of the wagon along with the luggage. Darling man who was willing to make this journey with me so that I might not be a woman alone upon the road all the way to Glenmoor. Bless his soul. I would have done it on my own too, had he not come with. It is that stubborn streak I can (sometimes) admit to, a blessing and curse all at once. It is that very quality that sees me returning to Myrken despite what disapproving faces might be there to greet my arrival.
Damn them all.
I will not waste one bloody thought on worry about what others think of me. I am a business woman. I own land when so many women do not and I, unlike many of my gender, shall have no man to obey. Not ever again. All decisions shall be my own and this, all of this, shall one day be my daughter's.
I can only imagine the savage look upon my face that this thought has likely brought, determined steel to my spine as I so gently touch at one soft, baby-plump cheek with a stroke of a finger. From here on out, every step taken shall be for her. Every breath. Every beat of my heart. For Brennah and no other. My drop of water in the desert. Do you understand how well named you are, Brennah O'Neill? The very meaning of your name?
The last of the sun is dipping, light slowly giving to dark. Oh there. There in the distance! Do you see them my darling? Those lights, right there.
"Brennah. We're home."
Daniel answers me with merely a grunt but I can hear the smile behind his beard with that small sound.
"Home."