Bacon for the Myrken Wood!

[Treadwell]

A note goes out from Tready's Toys to the bakery of one Altias Bromn, having been left tacked to the front door of the shop with a message for its delivery (and suitable payment) attached. Something is amiss, though. Instead of Treadwell's usually heavy, sloppy handwriting done in ink with plenty of ink drops and stains, there is a clumsy, shaky script done in coal, of all things. Clumps of coal and ash litter the parchment.

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Sixth of May, A.R. 207
Altias,

I'm tired of dealing with creatures that humiliate me by changing my body into other things. Last night, some small, dragon creature came upon me while I was eating, and it used something much like fairy dust to change me. It said something about since I acted like a pig, a pig I would be.

I'm a horrid sight. Tusks, pink or red skin (I can't honestly tell which, you know), a pig snout, hooves (yes, hooves!), and a blasted curly tail! As if that were not enough, I'm now squeaking and squealing and snorting when I talk, and I seem to have gotten a bit heavier in being so altered. The blasted thing ruined my pajamas I was wearing, but I've nothing else to wear without ruining even more. At the least I still have my beard!

It said I'd be this way for a week, or 'til I "learned my lesson." Dreadful! Dreadful! I demand we add something to the lawbooks to prevent something like this from happening again (twice is more than enough, as I was made a bee once, if you recall!).

But, this is enough. My hand aches, this is the third lump of coal I'm having to write with, my eyes are killing me, and I'm burning up. I do think there's a lovely cool mudhole out by the back door of my shop. . . .

Good heavens. I just wrote that.

Help me!

Aloisius
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[Treadwell]

A second note goes out to Governor Bromn again from Aloisius Treadwell, this one written once more in Tready's usual heavy, ink-splattery, sloppy script.

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Thirteenth of May, A.R. 207
Altias,

I should inform you that your Councilor of Administrative Sanctions is largely back to his full health, sanity, and self, save a new addition of a pig's tail at my behind that simply won't go away and some, ahem, other lingering problems that need not be discussed save face to face.

I would appreciate no funny comments about such, particularly in council meetings. I've heard quite enough of them from children in town this week already.

Good day.

Aloisius
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[Treadwell]

A final note goes out to the Governor in that same sloppy hand.

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Seventeenth of May, A.R. 207
Altias,

At the risk of bringing about unintended humor on myself, this pig has been cured.

Know well that I am rather tired of being the shapeshifting plaything of fate.

Aloisius
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