It had been a long ride. One of those filled with thoughts and doubts mixed with lingering confusion over the true nature of the motives at hand. Still, the return within the boundaries of Myrken Wood felt like a fresh breath that tasted of…home. The Kolat had never put the word into thought regarding this place, but that’s what it was and there was no changing the truth.
Years had passed since he had stepped foot in these provinces and longer still since he had made this land his place of daily resting. He could not even be sure that this would change now. Whether he was a sojourner of the night and merely passing time before traveling the long road elsewhere or if Myrken Wood would harbor him for the rest of his days was something he didn’t ponder. Yet, despite the aperture of time it all felt the same as the day Aidan, his now aging steed, clopped across Myrken Wood’s borders into the Silver Forest on the trail for answers. Answers he thought lie in wait like some kind of solid stone along the path he rode but were in truth only smoke meant to sting the eyes. The Kolat were all dead and he was alone. That was the only answer he found and even that truth had only served to vindicate his fears. Now it was answers that were driving him home, back to that elusive stronghold smothered in the forest like a birds nest in a spring oak. At least that is all he is telling himself. The other reasons had been too painful and all too human for him to admit. He had not seen her grave since the funeral and perhaps that was the most poignant purpose to this whole mess of returning.
It was, of course, the curse that had started the whole thing along—a curse which had run its course long ago. It had begun by causing his body and mind to transform between two personalities—one male, one female—both somehow pieces of a person he can only guess was something like who he is now.
He could still remember the night of the immense migraine that cracked through his skull like a gale of thunder and how he passed out for what felt like days only to awaken facing the full blunt of the affliction in its final form. She was lying next to him, and the horror upon that dark ebony gaze that was his own encapsulated in a visage much prettier was an image that struck in his mind as vividly then as now. She was He and He was She but both had now been separated physically and permanently and though he had retained his original body and mind he had no memory of ever passing a day in her form. She had remembered everything from the first change to the last and final. The next he saw her, weeks later, she was in a pool of her own blood after taking a dagger of the clan and ending her own life.
Sorrow was a burden he carried time and again through his life and this new assault of the senses was no different. He had not shed a tear for her at the time, but now, in this moment, he felt overwhelmed with the memory. Aidan’s reins were hauled up gently as he sat on the saddle, woozy with alien feelings and emotions pouring over him like a cascading waterfall. A hand lifted and covered his brow and forehead as the tears drained slowly down his taut cheeks. He shakes, quivers with the memory of what was his own funeral. He remembers how he had stood there looking on over the dirt mound with a callous heart, speaking those few somber words of departure before turning his back and mounting his awaiting steed to take up the trail out of Myrken Wood that same day. Enough was enough. His hand gripped the reigns tighter and the pools of bleak midnight that were his eyes set themselves before him from beneath the heavy cowl of his ashen midnight cloak as he shifted Aidan into a trot. It was time to move forward. There were answers somewhere down this North Passage.
