The Wizard that did it.

[Stenfast]

Let me tell you a recent story, very true, about an Aloisius Horatio Treadwell, and a Ladmordius, no last name given. I think it was D'Brow, or something. Anywho, it begins, at the Broken Dagger, like this... Sort of. I can't get the words right. My sources aren't reliable, and I'm not a GENIE. Spare me a rope, here.
"Bladdy bla!" said Aloisius "Tready" Treadwell.
"Yep, bla blabitty!" bladded back Ladmordius.
"Ladmordius," said Tready, without bla in his sentance, "Do you live anywhere in Myrken Wood?"
Ladmordius truthfully replied, "No. No I do not. I have been here before, though, of course."
Treadwell thought for a moment, sucking on his pipe. "Well, how would you like for me to show you the sites? The southern forest could be a good place to start."
"Of course!" replied Ladmordius, not seeing anything interesting in Myrken Wood for a long time.

The two set out on their short walk, that was going to become a short adventure... They talked for awhile...
And talked for awhile...
... You know the drill.
Then, a man, with a tunic of purple about him, and an ugly look on his face was heading up the path, opposite Ladmordius and Tready.
"Well, hello there, stranger!" hailed Ladmordius.
"You're calling ME strange?" snapped back the stranger, and he hurried on his way to wherever he might have been going off to.
"You may have used the wrong words," said Treadwell, as they continued talking. I mean, walking. "You know, there is an old, unhoused, yet still furnished cabin further up this trail, behind some trees. Want to see it?"
"Sure," answered Ladmordius. "You can always find something good in an old, furnished house to read."
The two finally reached the cabin, but suspiscion was about them that said, What if someone IS living there?
"Well, then, they sure are dodging alot of taxes, and should be paying them, inhabited or not," said Tready to the mysterious, narrorating voice.
"Be careful, Tready," warned Ladmordius to Treadwell.
"I will, Lad."
Of course, this wasn't true. Ladmordius braced himself for anything that may be in the house, as Treadwell quietly barged in.
WHACK!
Down goes a blackjack on the back of Treadwell's half-inside head, knocking him out into the cold.
"Eldinar, mevusto!" shouted Ladmordius, in the weird 'wizardry' language.
Many rocks flew inside the home, over Treadwell's fallen head, followed by a loud, "OUCH!" Out came running a scrawny man, wearing the same purple tunic as the other man before. He ran straight past Ladmordius.
"HALT!" shouted a voice, a guard of the town, at the man who had been hit by magic-influenced rocks. He found it his duty to follow the two, because they had wandered into marked-to-be-dangerous territory. He gave chase after the Treadwell-clubbing thug.
What the guard did not see in the cabin was a wizard, thus leaving Ladmordius alone to face him. A rush of wind blew Ladmordius away from the doorway, and onto the ground. A hooded wizard, his face covered in black, walked out of the cabin.
"That foolish lackey didn't even wait to check for two intruders! And now he has run off. What a coward. Eldinar, mefistof!" This faceless wizard had more powerful magic at hand, and slammed the recovering Ladmordius back to the ground. "Yes, my magic is stronger than yours will ever be. I can move even living things, unlike you, who can only move inanimate objects with his mind!"
How did this wizard know that about Ladmordius? "Reginar, melrinya!" yelled Ladmordius, as he forced himself upwards, his hand spread outwards at the attacker. Flame reached from Ladmordius' hand, and flew at the assailant.
"Ha! Fool! Eldinar, mefistof!" The fire swerved away from the mysterious magic user, and harmlessly dissapeared. "Now, I will finish-" the wizard was interrupted by the futile screams of a captured thug he happened to hold command over. "Oh no! The fool must have been caught! He could reveal all of our plans... I'll deal with this tax collecter and YOU, later!"
The wizard simply dissaperated. The guard soon came back, scratching his head. "That man I was chasing dissapeared right out of my arms! Are you two okay? What happened?" asked the guard.
Ladmordius explained the whole thing, and pointed at their REAL problem. An unconscious man on the ground, that weighed perhaps four-hundred pounds.

They, of course, made it back to town safely, and told the authorities everything that had happened. Who were these mysterious assailants? What plan could be revealed? Why did the wizard have no face? When will we learn this? Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? Who really CARES? Find out later!

[Treadwell]

"Mmph. Reasonably told, yes yes, though with a little too much of changing about my own words. 'Bla bla bladdity bla?' Mmph mmph! And four hundred pounds! Now, I've not seen a scale big enough to measure me all at once, yet, but I'd reckon I'm not *that* big!" Treadwell scowls at the chap telling the story.

[Stenfast]

"Well, sir," said the story teller. The story teller was caught! But he was quite quick. He remembered the truth, and he remembered it quick. "Rumors, good sir, it was how I was told. I've also heard rumors that you are quite old! Childish, perhaps, I would not know. But the story was told to me this way, I feel low. Person to person, the story had went, and finally I told it, the way I told by a gent."

[Stenfast]

Well, I'll tell you this, my friends, this source, it does not lie. Ladmordius has gone away, perhaps a week to try; "See, I did, a purple wizard sitting in the Dagger, a showy spy, no doubt, so I followed him to see his matter. When he reached the edge of the woods, I dodged his watchful eye. A flick of the wrist, he dissapeared, before MY very eyes; a trick I had seen before, when I fought a certain wizard; Now, I will make my search for his home, I'll find that spying lizard." Of course, Ladmordius had not rhymed, but that's close to what he said. He'll come back in a week or less, unless he turns up dead.