My name?
The woman that birthed me decided my name would be Anya-Marie. I was 'gifted' with the family name of Dubois by the bastard that is technically my father. I'm sure you can already discern just how my affections run when it comes to my parents. I admit it; I'm bitter. I wasn't loved enough as a child. I will give her credit, though; my mother did want to care. It was just that she couldn't.
My mother was a whore, you see. These are not the spiteful words of an angry woman, but simple truth and fact. My mother was a cheap prostitute, and my father an incompetent cut-purse and pick-pocket. I was their little mistake, the by-blow generated in one night's back-ally fuck, paid for by a bout of success from his sticky fingers.
I have a hard time dealing with the memories of my parents and my childhood. It's quite hard to come to terms with, all of it leaving me feeling hurt and resentful. In one perspective, they tried in their own ways to provide for me. To show me something I could use when I was an adult. On the other hand... They both tried to teach me their trades.I know that sounds as if it should've been a sign of love and concern, but for two people scrounging for every copper they could, I was a means to get more. Likely it's quite obvious that neither of them should be a role model; being a whore is not a career choice any child should have to consider.
I did learn many things from my mother, however. Tricks that have served me well, though I know she meant for me to use them in a less savoury way than I have chosen to. Perhaps if she had belonged to a brothel, or was a true courtesan, I might have become like her. A whore is a whore is a whore, no matter how pretty a title they may carry. Courtesans get some respect servicing the wealthy and nobly born, while women who spread their legs for a couple of silver...
My father, on the other hand, had a considerably lower success rate with his...employment. In truth, if he had any skill at all, he'd probably not have coupled with my mother that night. If he had even been mediocre, we probably would have all ended up better. Failure though he was, he tought me some important things about stealing. About fences and appraisal. My father was not a stupid man; he knew what he needed to know to make a living off of his crimes. He knew how to walk the walk and talk the talk when it came to dealing with the shadiest of the shady. It was all simply because he was so painfully inept at performing. I think he could have been better selling lies than lightening pockets.
When I was eleven, my mother passed from illness. I know nothing of medicine, and we could not afford even the cheapest of the worst doctors. I will never know what disease killed my mother, but that's not something that saddens me. As my father had taught me to watch, I saw the world they moved through. I saw more than most children should even know about. That leads to growing up fast in certain ways. And one of the things I saw was the type of men my mother serviced, and I saw the disease-worn faces of the other cheap whores she called her friends. That's enough to satisfy my curiosity.
Her death incited a dramatic change in the world I knew, though likely you might wonder how it could possibly be any different. As bad as it was, it would only get worse, though I had no way of knowing that at the time. I understand now that my father never truly cared about my mother or I; because he was helping to raise his child, he didn't have to pay to be serviced. And as far as I was concerned? I was just another potential angle to net him that big score he so desperately seemed to believe was coming his way.
In a way, I think he at least had that right.
I officially became property six months after my mother's death. Heavily muscled men came one night and took me while I slept. Really, I should not have been so surprised at their showing up. Given the way my parents lived, it was really only a matter of time before one pimp or another decided to 'hire'on a new girl. I was young, and youth brings naivity, even in the most knowledgable of children. There's still that hope that a fairy tale might happen to you, and you'll live Happily Ever After. When they took me, I screamed for help, for my father, from where I had been caste over one shoulder like any sack the dock workers tossed about. In my young mind, it made sense for him to protect me; he was my father. And while he could not have fought either man and won in a fair fight, I knew there was very little truly fair about my parents. I had seen my father draw blood on a few occassions. I knew he had a knife or two. Of course, my father couldn't hear me over the deafening sound of all the coins.
As my story seemed to be nearing a very dark tale with a horrific ending, fate and fortune finally smiled on me. Even if it was only faintly, it was a good sight better than what might have played out otherwise.
